White Girls

We all know a white girl. Not just a caucasian, but a truly white, Starbucks-loving, UGG boot-wearing, scarf-sporting, parent's money-spending, Bachelorette-watching, girl. Where did they come from and are they here to stay? As long as we let them.

Now, you would think with all their parents money to spend, life would be easy for the white girl. You're wrong. Their lives are very hard and here are a few reasons why:

1. It takes them a long time to get ready.
2. They have to go to school.
3. Sometimes their iPhone 5 drops calls.
4. They have to go to the restroom in groups of at least 4.
5. No one is listening to them.
6. Boys are stupid.

Some common phrases to confirm white girls have it harder than anyone else might include:

"No one is listening to me!"
"I need a new Michael Kors!"
"I spilled my latte on my UGGs!"
"I'm going to be single forever!"
"I'm literally going to die!"
"I totes can't even with boys sometimes!"
"Help!"
"All the baseball players at my school are ugly!"
"It's so hard to be me."
"I'm on an all avocado diet. "
"You're way prettier than me!"

So you can see, it's very hard being a white girl. Whether their parents didn't put enough money in their account this week or that they just ran out of wine, it's hard. So next time you see a white girl, ask her if everything is okay because there is a 100% chance that it's not.