First off, let me say (hopefully without people attacking me) that going to school in small town Indiana is the exact opposite than what I have been use to my whole life. Where I live its the norm to go to college, get a job, then get married and have children. It seems like most of my Ball State friends all want to get married right out of college, IF they even finish college. But whats the rush? We have a life time to live, we should enjoy every moment of it! It's 2014, MRS degree is a sad waste of time. You're better than that ladies!
My close friends know that I don't want to get married until I'm 28, why? Cause I know when I get married I will want start a family sometime in the first year, and if I'm 23-25 years old right out of college, I know my husband and I won't be in the work force long enough to be able to pay for a baby/childcare. And if I can't afford a child, it is not fair to have one. Hopefully by the time I'm 30, married with one child my husband and I can afford to start a family. Please notice how I am saying my husband AND I, it takes two to make a baby, so it should take two to raise one. I don't judge families where one parent stays home, but in my marriage we will both be working. Besides, I'll get too stir-crazy staying at home all day, I'm too ambitious and social to NOT have a 9-5 job.
My other reasoning for me wanting to be a 28 year old bride is that I have a guilty pleasure dream of living in an adorable bachelorette apartment in Chicago with my best friend and spend our twenties together. Go to the bars, start our careers, and travel the world or take road trips across the country. But don't get confused! I can be in a serious relationship in my twenties, I can know at 26 I am with the one I am going to spend the rest of my life with, I just don't want to get married to him for a couple more years. We're spending forever together anyway, so whats really the difference to wait?
The thing that pisses me the most, is that some of my friends automatically assume that "I'm not getting married till 28" means that I don't want kids. Believe it or not people, a woman can still have children at 28-30s... since when is 28 old?!? ...People can be complete idiots sometimes...
Another thing that I have told myself since I was young is that no matter when I get married and who I get married to, I am not taking his last name. My entire life I have been Catherine Winer, why would I want to take that name away? Take the name away and I take away a part of myself. I once over-heard a girl say "One day I'm going to have the same last name as the man I love most in the world", I couldn't help but feel bad for her. The most important man in my life, the man I love more than any other is Norm Winer, my father. I will always be his daughter yes, but it would break my heart if I no longer had his last name.
My name is Catherine Winer. Catherine was my mother's grandmother, Winer has been passed down for centuries from my fathers side. I can't take my husbands last name because I want to have a little bit of my mom and dad with me everyday of my life.
I love love, I can't judge a girl who gets married after college after dating someone for less than 3 years. I just know I can't marry someone that I've been with for such a short amount of time when I'm still young. You can always fall in love and get married, but you won't always have your twenties. So have fun, make mistakes, take risks. Then when you're 40 (which is still young) you can tell your children all of your stories of the fun you had with your friends after college.
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